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The Dalai Lama’s Perspective on Aging

The Dalai Lama’s Perspective on Aging

Featured image: The Dalai Lama visits a patient at Westmead Hospital in Sydney in 2013. Photo Rusty Stewart/Dalai Lama in Australia (DLIA).

In April 2013 the Dalai Lama met scientists at the Université de Lausanne in Switzerland to participate in a conference on aging: “Living and Dying in Peace – Crossed Perspectives on Aging.” Below is a summary and some highlights from the talk, excerpted from the article about the conference, Conference on ‘Living and Dying in Peace’ at University of Lausanne.

“From the individual’s point of view, if we train from a young age on a mental level, developing our analytical ability, the mind will remain alert. I’ve noticed that people who do this may face physical decline, but their minds remain clear and alert. From the family point of view, affection and support are important.”

The first question put to His Holiness imagined a young boy asking his grandfather “Is it a good thing to grow old?”

His Holiness replied:

“I think it depends on what kind of life you have led, whether your life was meaningful and of benefit to other people. The grandfather might say time keeps moving on, eventually we all become old. One day, although you are young now, you will be old too. This is a natural process. He might say I’m fortunate to have lived this long, but I’ve not wasted my time and I’ve gained some experience of how to live.

“On the other hand, if he’s filled his time with sensory pursuits and dedicated himself, for example, to sport, he might say I can’t hear properly any more, can’t see properly – it’s all become hard work.”

His Holiness with his mother, Diki Tsering.

The first presenter spoke about increasing life expectancy and different categories of older people, the ‘young old’ who are still active and the ‘old old’ who are increasingly frail. He asked: “How can we age well when our physical abilities are declining?” His Holiness answered that an important factor is your state of mind. Whether your mind is calm and peaceful depends not on your being knowledgeable, but on whether you are warm-hearted. Inner peace automatically gives rise to trust and friendship. On the other hand suspicion, mistrust and lies mean you end up alone and unhappy.

“From the individual’s point of view, if we train from a young age on a mental level, developing our analytical ability, the mind will remain alert. I’ve noticed that people who do this may face physical decline, but their minds remain clear and alert. From the family point of view, affection and support are important.”

Asked how to deal with dementia in the old, His Holiness replied:

“I don’t know, because I have no experience, but I believe showing affection is very important. You can show affection without having to rely on words.”

He speculated about how memory declines, noting that while you tend not to forget faces, remembering names is difficult and because of the concepts they represent there is terminology that you never forget. He wondered whether we forget names because they have no meaning, whereas terms with meaning are much easier to remember.

Asked how to deal with dementia in the old, His Holiness replied:

“I don’t know, because I have no experience, but I believe showing affection is very important. You can show affection without having to rely on words.”

A question about spirituality prompted him to try to define the term, wondering if it means looking for meaning in life and the world; a collection of visions and values that are beneficial to ourselves and others. Because there could be spirituality linked to religious faith and independent of it, he suggested that people who have no faith might derive benefit from secular ethics. Otherwise, they are prone to come under the sway of destructive emotions. He stressed that just as it is wise to take care of our physical health, we also need to take care of our emotional well-being and proposed a programme of emotional hygiene.

University of Lausanne Rector Dominique Arlettaz welcoming His Holiness the Dalai Lama during his opening address at the conference on “Living and Dying in Peace” at the University of Lausanne in Lausanne, Switzerland, on April 15, 2013. Photo/Jeremy Russell/OHHDL

The discussion came round to the role of the aging in society. His Holiness recollected a programme in Stockholm in which old people were brought in to work in kindergartens. They took part in the care of young children, played with them and told them stories. He said that there is great potential for mutual benefit in such activities. The children liked the presence of the old people, who in turn were re-energised in the presence of children. His Holiness joked:

“When I talk to young people it makes me feel young, but when I’m talking to old people I wonder ‘Who’ll be going first, you or me?’”

His Holiness said that his discussions with scientists, educationists, social workers and other concerned people lead to the conclusion that we need a system of values that contributes to the basic happiness of all members of society. Such a system could include techniques for training the mind. Education is the avenue for change. Education is the way we can change the course of humanity. And he suggested that ancient Indian knowledge about the mind and emotions as preserved in literature belonging to the Nalanda tradition could make a valuable contribution to this.

When pressed to recommend ways that the elderly who have not trained themselves earlier in life could begin to change, His Holiness said he doubted that there was an effective method, pointing out that such methods need to be adopted when we are young.

After a leisurely lunch filled with conversation and discussion the conference resumed. Asked to respond to the statistic that a majority of people die in hospital His Holiness surprised the panel by saying that if you die in hospital it means that all efforts to save your life have been exhausted, so there will be no room for regret. On the other hand he agreed that doctors and nurses need to treat their patients as beings with feelings of pleasure and pain, rather than as inanimate machines brought in for repair.

When pressed to recommend ways that the elderly who have not trained themselves earlier in life could begin to change, His Holiness said he doubted that there was an effective method, pointing out that such methods need to be adopted when we are young.

Commenting on whether warm-heartedness is a natural function, he said:

“Yes, our lives begin in our mother’s womb and her physical touch and expression of affection are essential to our healthy growth. This is the basis for our later development of a warm heart.”

To questions about helping the old or sick to die, he said we have to investigate why they wish to die. We have to use both compassion and wisdom to assess what is the best course of action. He said that in Buddhist practice helping to end someone’s life is permitted if it will benefit them in the long run, but again compassion and wisdom are needed to make the judgement.

He was asked whether it is important to train ourselves to meet death, and if so, how to do it.

“Death will come because it is a part of life,” he said. “People who avoid the very words old age and death will be caught unawares when it comes. In some of our meditation practice we visualize the process of death and the associated dissolution of the elements every day, so that we may be prepared for the actual event. For those who believe in a succession of lives, death is just like changing your body. If you have led a meaningful life, when death takes place there’ll be no need for regret.

“Training depends on the individual’s ability. One approach is to develop awareness of your dreams. If you can train yourself to recognise that you are in the dream state and take control of it, you can have a deeper experience of the dissolution of the elements that take place during the process of death.”

When it came to questions about rituals associated with death, His Holiness was firm in asserting his scepticism about the efficacy of rituals in the process. He conceded that if they were conducted by someone with experience and understanding they may have some benefit, but otherwise he doubted they would be of much help.

“Death will come because it is a part of life,” he said. “People who avoid the very words old age and death will be caught unawares when it comes. In some of our meditation practice we visualize the process of death and the associated dissolution of the elements every day, so that we may be prepared for the actual event. For those who believe in a succession of lives, death is just like changing your body. If you have led a meaningful life, when death takes place there’ll be no need for regret.”

Coming back to the meditative practices that in effect rehearse the process of dying, he mentioned that he goes through them himself four of five times a day. In this connection he talked about meditators who remain in posthumous meditative equipoise after death. These are cases in which brain activity and the heart have ceased and yet the body remains fresh for several days. Over the last 50 years he is aware of 30-40 cases like this, including that of his Senior Tutor who stayed in such meditation for 13 days after he died. Science has as yet no explanation of this phenomenon, while the Buddhist explanation is that it involves the existence of subtler levels of consciousness. Although the heart, circulation and the brain have stopped, it is only when the subtle consciousness departs that the dying moment is reached and the decay of the corpse begins. (DalaiLama.com)


Coral Tree In-home Care provide caregivers, old-fashioned kindness, and neighborly support to older adults who want to live at own home safely, comfortably, and as independently as possible. Since 2010 we’ve helped more than 250 families in Newport Beach, Laguna Beach, Newport Coast, and neighboring Southern California communities live safer, happier lives.
Modern Masters of Religion

Modern Masters of Religion

This CBSN 30-minute documentary explores the lives and influence of three religious teachers, Thomas Merton, His Holiness the 16th Karmapa and Karen Armstrong.

Thomas Merton

Photo: Publishing Perspectives.

For much admired Trappist monk Thomas Merton, the “deeply spiritual life” meant the “experience” of God’s presence and love at all times, combining that with action in everyday life. He was a prolific writer on topics ranging from contemplative prayer to non-violence. He also wrote poetry, essays and criticism. (PBS.org)


His Holiness the 16th Karmapa

Photo: Wikipedia.

As head of the Kagyu lineage of Tibetan Buddhism His Holiness the 16th Karmapa, Rangjung Rigpe Dorje, was second Lama to the Dalia Lama. He was considered an emanation of the Buddha of compassion known as Avalokitesvara, the great compassionate one.

The 16th Karmapa was a great master who demonstrated intuitive wisdom, joy, and loving kindness, his compassionate activity for others was beyond words or concepts. Under his leadership, the Karma Kagyu lineage not only survived the escape from Tibet but thrived. Since then, Karma Kagyu lineage spread all around the world. The Buddhist monasteries, institutes, and centers that the 16th Karmapa established grew and now offer Buddhist methods to people in India, Asia, and across the West. (BeHereNowNetwork.com)


Karen Armstrong

Karen Armstrong has dedicated her life to the study of religion — both from inside the walls of a convent during her seven years as a Catholic nun — and as a author of books on the world’s faiths from Islam to Buddhism and a best-selling HISTORY OF GOD. Her examination of the commonalities of the world’s faiths has brought Karen Armstrong to her current project: the Charter for Compassion. (PBS.org)


Coral Tree In-home Care provide caregivers, old-fashioned kindness, and neighborly support to older adults who want to live at own home safely, comfortably, and as independently as possible. Since 2010 we’ve helped more than 250 families in Newport Beach, Laguna Beach, Newport Coast, and neighboring Southern California communities live safer, happier lives.
Being Mortal

Being Mortal

FRONTLINE follows renowned New Yorker writer and Boston surgeon Atul Gawande as he explores the relationships doctors have with patients who are nearing the end of life. In conjunction with Gawande’s book, Being Mortal, the film investigates the practice of caring for the dying, and shows how doctors — himself included — are often remarkably untrained, ill-suited and uncomfortable talking about chronic illness and death with their patients.

“We’ve been wrong about what our job is in medicine. We think our job is to ensure health and survival. But really it is larger than that. It is to enable well-being.”
― Atul Gawande, Being Mortal: Illness, Medicine and What Matters in the End

 


Coral Tree In-home Care provide caregivers, old-fashioned kindness, and neighborly support to older adults who want to live at own home safely, comfortably, and as independently as possible. Since 2010 we’ve helped more than 250 families in Newport Beach, Laguna Beach, Newport Coast, and neighboring Southern California communities live safer, happier lives.
Alive Inside

Alive Inside

A beautiful, amazing documentary. The ability of music to transform the lives of people suffering from memory loss (and other cognitive & physical dis-function) in this film is nothing short of miraculous. All families with a loved one suffering from Dementia or Alzheimers should see Alive Inside!

Michael Rossato-Bennett‘s documentary follows Dan Cohen, social worker and founder of the non-profit Music & Memory, in his work, primarily with individuals isolated in nursing homes. Dan creates personalized playlists of music for his patients. “Music connects people with who they have been, who they are, and their lives,” Dan says. “Because what happens when you get old is all the things you’re familiar with and your identity are all just being peeled away.”

The personalized playlists Dan offers don’t just help these men and women suffering from Dementia and Alzheimer’s relax or distract them from their suffering – it seemingly completely transforms and revitalizes them. The fog of memory loss is lifted and they are able to remember themselves, their lives. Their identity, their joy, their memories, are restored. “It can’t get away from me when I’m in this place,” says one woman. And physical function is restored, too. Some patients can talk again, they can move their bodies, are able to walk and dance.

Part of what I found so exciting about Dan’s work is that music therapy is easy to do, and empowering, both for the patients and their families. We can make a difference in our loved ones lives, in a way that no medicine can. And it’s a simple as creating an iPod playlist with our loved one’s favorite music: music from their youth, music they enjoyed with a husband or wife, music from their wedding day, music they loved during easier times. So simple! As Dr. Bill Thomas says in the film, music touches the heart and soul of a patient. No medicine does that.

Various neuroscientists feature in the film. They explain the science behind music therapy. “Music has more ability to activate more parts of the brain than any other stimulus,” says one neuroscientist. “By exciting or awakening those pathways, we have a gateway to stimulate and reach somebody who otherwise is unreachable,” says another. Amazing!

I also really appreciated the film’s message that our elders are important, their lives are still worthwhile and worth living. And that they should be respected for their age. We are such a youth obsessed culture that doesn’t appreciate the elderly. Just this morning I read that a TV commentator said the elderly should be euthanized! How awful! Just because our bodies and minds change and age, doesn’t mean we lose value as a human being. In fact, our elders should be all the more appreciated for their age, their wisdom, and their experiences. “American culture is wrong,” says Dr. Bill Thomas. “There is actually life beyond adulthood. There’s the opportunity to live and grow and become elders. The aging that we experience holds in it very important learnings and lessons.”

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Winner of the 2014 Sundance Film Festival Audience Award.

Music & Memory: Dan Cohen’s organization. “A non-profit organization that brings personalized music into the lives of the elderly or infirm through digital music technology, vastly improving quality of life.”

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All photos courtesy of Alive Inside.


Coral Tree In-home Care provide caregivers, old-fashioned kindness, and neighborly support to older adults who want to live at own home safely, comfortably, and as independently as possible. Since 2010 we’ve helped more than 250 families in Newport Beach, Laguna Beach, Newport Coast, and neighboring Southern California communities live safer, happier lives.