“Under the Coral Tree”
Life Stories, Wisdom, Care Conversations & Thanks
Wisdom from Our Elders: An Interview with Bob Cogan, 96-years-old
“I’ve never seen such devotion.” These are the first words my mother says when I ask her to describe our friend Bob Cogan, who turned 96 this year. Bob is straight-forward, ethical, and kind. As my mom says: “He is a good man.”
Let Life Humble You: Wisdom for the First Day of Hanukkah
Happy first day of Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, & Lama Tsong Khapa Day... For this powerful, triple-threat holy day, we're sharing some words of wisdom from Paul Weinfield. “Let Life Humble You” by Paul Weinfield Let life humble you. Leonard Cohen said his teacher...
“Healing & Forgivess Are the Only Source of Life” ~ Wisdom from Walter Brueggemann for this first week of Advent
“Healing & Forgivess Are the Only Source of Life” What to do while we watch and wait this Advent season? Move from the large vision of Isaiah to the small discipline of John. If John embodies all that is old & Jesus embodies all that is new, take as your...
Poetry Rx | “Late Ripeness”
Today’s healing offering for all of our friends near & far… from the beautiful mind of Czeslaw Milosz; translated by Robert Hass & Milosz (and recommended by Cassidy) Czeslaw Milosz (1911-2004) Not soon, as late as the approach of my ninetieth year, I felt a...
A Vedic Peace Prayer
I desire neither earthly kingdom, nor even freedom from birth and death. I desire only the deliverance from grief of all those afflicted by misery. Oh Lord, lead us from the unreal to the real; from darkness to light; from death to immortality. May there be peace in...
Finn Reflects on the Feast of St. Francis
KIND HUMANS! Finn here, again. As you know, I was all ready for my blessing at Our Lady Queen of Angels Catholic Church, Newport Beach yesterday for the Feast of St. Francis (one of my favorite holidays), but I just couldn’t focus! Turns out, someone (ahem… Mr. Donald) put my FAVORITE FRISBEE in the car, and I got a little too distracted.
Finn Celebrates World Animal Day
Humans of Newport & beyond! (This is Finn, again, BTW. Coral Tree’s Chief Pawficer of Office Morale and Management — Mr Donald told me the longer my title, the more impressive I’d be. Go figure.) Anyway, I have a VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT to make! Today is WORLD...
Happy Birthday to Mr. Donald!
Happy Birthday to this dude. Also known as Mr. Donald, Uncle Donut, the Coral Tree Cookie Man & Madeleine-maker, the Old Man of the Sea, and most importantly, my most precious dad.
On behalf of all of us at Coral Tree, let me express how grateful I am for this kind father, protector, and provider who has been a rock for me in this life. And who makes the yummiest Boerie roll you’ve ever had.
September 11 Reflection: If I Can Help Somebody as I Pass Along
May today & every day be day of new beginnings… May we not mire in sadness, but always aspire to be a force for goodness in this world.. And may we never forget the sacrifice of those we’ve lost, of those who serve, those who give their lives for others… in our community, our country, all countries…
Wisdom | “You Must Believe in Your Potential” by Chamtrul Rinpoche (Or as our Gigi would say: “Keep going, Kiddo!”)
The problem for so many people is that they don’t believe in their potential, so their love and compassion remains extremely limited, and it usually extends no further than to their closest family members.
‘I Am Sorry’ – the Three Hardest Words to Say
Desmond Tutu There were so many nights when I, as a young boy, had to watch helplessly as my father verbally and physically abused my mother. I can still recall the smell of alcohol, see the fear in my mother's eyes and feel the hopeless despair that comes when we see...
Wisdom | The Power of Patience
Adapted from the 16 Guidelines for a Happy Life "In relationships with others, patience becomes a form of kindness. Think of the best friend who comforts you night after night over the heartache that just won’t go away, or the grandchild who smiles through the story...
Poetry Rx | “Small Kindnesses” by Danusha Laméris
I’ve been thinking about the way, when you walkdown a crowded aisle, people pull in their legsto let you by. Or how strangers still say “bless you”when someone sneezes, a leftoverfrom the Bubonic plague. “Don’t die,” we are saying.And sometimes, when you spill...
Wisdom | The Sacred Pause by Jack Kornfield
Some wisdom from Jack Kornfield in time for the holidays... An excerpt from Jack's book The Wise Heart; and also published here on JackKornfield.com. Our life can take on a whirlwind quality of working, responding, answering, solving, building, caring, tending and...
Wisdom | A Gratitude Practice from Our Friend Jean
Three Good Things A way to tune into the positive events in your life. From UC Berkeley’s Greater Good in Action; recommended to us by our friend Jean Watt. Jean did this gratitude practice every day. “Attitude is everything,” Jean told us. “So in the morning, instead...
An Interview with Jean Watt: What Can I Do? A Life of Service & Compassionate Action
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.” — Margaret Mead From left: Lorna, Jean, Robert & Herbert Hahn; Jean’s 1945 high school senior portrait; and the Hahn family beach...
Poetry Rx | “The Star” by Richard Bauckham
We first saw it on a night pitch as a dungeon, the world’s midnight. It appeared the only brightness in the universe, a bird of pure light soaring, a crystal ship sailing the dark deluge, a dazzling denizen of heaven leaping the vast vault towards our long lost world....
Gratitude for Our Caregivers | Nita
"Two Beautiful Peas in a Pod" Our friend Nita was an incredible caregiver, confidante, and companion to a dear friend of ours, Jane. Nita always dresses beautifully — which Jane, who also loved getting dressed nicely and feeling beautiful, loved. Jane loved people and...
Wisdom | The Healing Power of Gardens by Dr. Oliver Sacks
Originally published in the New York Times, an excerpt from Dr. Sacks’ “Everything in Its Place,” published posthumously in 2015. As a writer, I find gardens essential to the creative process; as a physician, I take my patients to gardens whenever possible. All of us...
Gratitude for Our Caregivers | Ninta
Ninta has been working as a caregiver since 2006 and started working for Coral Tree in 2013. She is retiring this year, and was going to return to Indonesia, but now feels that since she has bonded with her 14-month-old granddaughter, Faith, she will stay close to...
Gratitude for Our Caregivers | Elyta: Our Joyful Healer
Elyta: warm, vivacious, creative, sensitive to the needs of others, healer to people, plants and animals, beautiful inside and out. Those of you who don’t know Elyta might recognize her from the photo above with our friend Pat — we often use this photo on our website...
Poetry Rx | “Chemotherapy” by Julia Darling
Julia Darling (1956-2005) I did not imagine being bald at forty four. I didn’t have a plan. Perhaps a scar or two from growing old, hot flushes. I’d sit fluttering a fan. But I am bald, and hardly ever walk by day, I’m the invalid of these rooms, stirring soups, awake...
Gratitude for Our Caregivers | Cheryl: A Mighty Powerhouse of Compassion
Cheryl French (pictured above with our beloved Mrs. Von KR) is a Coral Tree MVP. Originally from Iloilo — said to be the heart of the Philippines as it’s located in the center of the archipelago’s 7,100 islands — when I think of Cheryl, I think of the heart of Coral...
Our Friends | Oh, That’s Just Marilyn
When I first heard we had a new client, a Mrs.von KleinSmid, I wondered: Could that be THE VON KR?! So I drove down to the Island to meet her. Yes, she had red hair and had taught at Harbor View. Even though neither of my kids had been in her classes, everyone knew...
Wisdom | “I am with you always” ~ Pope Francis’ Message for Grandparents & the Elderly
July 25, 2021 Dicastero per la Comunicazione - Libreria Editrice Vaticana Dear Grandfathers and Grandmothers, Dear Elderly Friends, “I am with you always” (Mt 28:20): this is the promise the Lord made to his disciples before he ascended into heaven. They are the words...
Gratitude for Our Caregivers | Susan
Susan sees her clients as extensions of her own family. She is there to love them and give them comfort. There were no nurses in her own family in the Philippines. Her parents asked Susan to study nursing so someone would be able to look after them, so Susan studied...
Our Friends | Doris Felman ~ The Extraordinary Life of an American Woman
“I see America, not in the setting sun of a black night of despair ahead of us, I see America in the crimson light of a rising sun fresh from the burning, creative hand of God. I see great days ahead, great days possible to men and women of will and vision.” ― Carl...
Gratitude for Our Caregivers | Del
In our bimonthly newsletters we've started sharing some glimpses of the compassionate care that Coral Tree’s caregivers have offered our friends (and us!) over the years — highlighting personal experiences; sharing stories friends have shared; or recalling particular...
Poetry Rx | “From Cedi la Strada Agli Alberi” by Franco Arminio
From Cedi la Strada Agli Alberi Franco Arminio (b. 1960) Translated by Sarah Lambert-Porter We need farmers, poets, people who know how to make bread, who love trees and recognize the wind. More than a year of growth, it would take a year of attention. Attention to...
Poetry Rx | “Sorrow Is Not My Name” by Ross Gay
“Sorrow Is Not My Name” Ross Gay (b. 1974) — after Gwendolyn Brooks No matter the pull toward brink. No matter the florid, deep sleep awaits. There is a time for everything. Look, just this morning a vulture nodded his red, grizzled head at me, and I looked at him,...
Prayer | “Morning Prayer” by John O’Donohue
"Morning Prayer" John O’Donohue (1956-2008) 1 Somewhere, out at the edges, the night Is turning and the waves of darkness Begin to brighten the shore of dawn The heavy dark falls back to earth And the freed air goes wild with light, The heart fills with fresh, bright...
Prayer | “Radiating Christ” by Cardinal John Henry Newman
"Radiating Christ" Cardinal John Henry Newman (1801-1890) One of Mother Teresa’s favorite prayers Dear Jesus, help us to spread Your fragrance everywhere we go. Flood our souls with Your Spirit and Life. Penetrate and possess our whole being so utterly that our lives...
Our Friends | A Salute to Eugenie Fisher
The first fact about Eugenie to come to mind is 98, 98 times marvelous. There is no thud of years about her. Entering her Russian salon, each person is received by Eugenie with genuine interest. She reigns amidst her art and historical artifacts, beneath her Russian...
Care Conversations | 9 Reasons to Choose In-home Care
Our family has worked with hundreds of families throughout Newport Beach, Laguna, and surrounding Orange County communities providing caregivers, care management, and support for loved ones and their families. We understand all of the nuance and thought and...
Wisdom | Two Reflections from Thomas Keating
Thomas Keating (1923-2018) “God is Already Here” From the December 2015 Contemplative Outreach Newsletter We used to think that time and space were limited. But now we know the galaxies are going beyond space as we know it and are going away so fast that in another...
Our Friends | Barbara, the Beholder
Attending without intention, that describes Barbara – her wide heart, ready smile, glistening eyes, poised blue to find you, always on the verge of discovery, impossible not to still see her urging us outward. The day after her burial, a bird's nest had blown onto her...
Prayer of Saint Francis
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace: where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy. O divine Master, grant that I may...
Care Conversations | The Power of Kind Words in Caring for Others
A Scientist Observes the Power of Love and Gratitude In the New York Times bestseller The Hidden Messages in Water (2004), Japanese scientist Masaru Emoto shares his findings on the effects of positive and negative words (and thoughts) on water...
Wisdom | How to Die Well
The late great Tibetan Buddhist teacher Kirti Tsenshab Rinpoche (1926 – 2006), answers questions about death and dying put by Ven. Pende Hawter, founder of Karuna Hospice Services in Brisbane, Australia, in Dharamsala, India, in May 1990. This piece was excerpted from...
Our Friends | John Eilertson: A Pilot’s Story
“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”– John 15:13 Through our work, our family has the great privilege of getting to know elders in our community, and to hear stories from their lives. We’ve had the opportunity to care for...
Our Friends | Do You Remember Barbara
“Remember Barbara,” begins a wonderful poem by Jacques Prevert about love and war: the Second World War and the destruction of the French port, Brest; the love of Barbara and the desolate loss of that love. It reminded me of my friend, Barbara, and the Alzheimer's...
Poetry Rx | “My Heart Can Take on Any Form” by Ibn Arabi
My heart can take on any form: A meadow for gazelles, A cloister for monks, For the idols, sacred ground, Ka'ba for the circling pilgrim, The tables of the Torah, The scrolls of the Quran. My creed is Love; Wherever its caravan turns along the way, That is my belief,...
A Care Conversation with Cassidy
My mom, Cassidy, is the soul of our family business. Sensitive and interested in every one she meets, she’s easy to talk to and has a knack for drawing out people’s stories: a writer by nature, she sees the story in everyone.
Poetry Rx | “Affirmation” by Donald Hall
To grow old is to lose everything. Aging, everybody knows it. Even when we are young, we glimpse it sometimes, and nod our heads when a grandfather dies. Then we row for years on the midsummer pond, ignorant and content. But a marriage, that began without harm, scatters into debris on the shore, and a […]
Cassidy’s Corner | These Evening Bodies That We Wear
Wisdom | Impermanence Is the Source of All Continuity By Lin Jensen
Mighty or Not, We All Fall Down By Lin Jensen Published on LionsRoar.com, March 8, 2012 The first I saw of the oak were its raw roots crusted with mud and tilted up into the air so that the whole root ball projected six or eight feet above my head. It was a massive valley […]
Wisdom | The Dalai Lama’s Perspective on Aging
Featured image: The Dalai Lama visits a patient at Westmead Hospital in Sydney in 2013. Photo Rusty Stewart/Dalai Lama in Australia (DLIA). In April 2013 the Dalai Lama met scientists at the Université de Lausanne in Switzerland to participate in a conference on...
Wisdom from Three Modern Masters of Religion
This CBSN 30-minute documentary explores the lives and influence of three religious teachers, Thomas Merton, His Holiness the 16th Karmapa and Karen Armstrong. Thomas Merton For much admired Trappist monk Thomas Merton, the “deeply spiritual life” meant the “experience” of God’s presence and love at all times, combining that with action in everyday life. […]
Did You Know That Walt Whitman Served as a Nurse during the Civil War?
Walt Whitman (1819–1892) was born May 31, 1819 into a working-class family in Long Island, New York. He worked throughout his life as a teacher and in the publishing and printing trades. Whitman also served as a nurse during the American Civil War, 1861–1865, which he...
Being Mortal
FRONTLINE follows renowned New Yorker writer and Boston surgeon Atul Gawande as he explores the relationships doctors have with patients who are nearing the end of life. In conjunction with Gawande’s book, Being Mortal, the film investigates the practice of caring for...
Our Friends | The Frequency of the Wood
"Had a lovely trip over to Jura and took a boat out to a whirlpool of the end of the island. Believe it is the third largest in the world and whilst the waters were choppy and lots of undercurrents we did not go round and round in a whirl - which I was slightly...
Care Conversations | Still Growing
Sometimes it takes a bit of apparent nonsense to return us to the pith of common sense. This year being the century and a half marker of Lewis Carroll's Alice, that wisdom struck me again. As Alice ate the cake she kept growing. "Curiouser and curiouser!" cried Alice...
Poetry Rx | “Evergreen 6.22.15” by Cassidy Macdonald
A poem Cassidy wrote in memory of a beloved Coral Tree client, Mary, a Japanese-American woman, who lived in Irvine and passed away in June, 2015 at 90 years old. Mary was buried at Evergreen Cemetery, in Boyle Heights, in East Los Angeles. Evergreen is one of the...
Cassidy’s Corner | In Our Dotage
As I left the front door this morning, I saw the moonflower folding on its vine. A whiff of regret swept over me for the subtle and seductive scent dissolving, the green sepals forcing that purest white leaf inward. I stopped myself and looked hard at the dying...
Recommended Movies | Alive Inside: A Story of Music & Memory
A beautiful, amazing documentary. The ability of music to transform the lives of people suffering from memory loss (and other cognitive & physical disfunction) in this film is nothing short of miraculous. All families with a loved one suffering from dementia or...
Poetry Rx | “A Private Singularity” by John Koethe
The American poet John Koethe is Distinguished Professor Emeritus at University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. I used to like being young, and I still do, Because I think I still am. There are physical Objections to that thought, and yet what Fascinates me now is how...
Cassidy’s Corner | Home Equals Hope
Home Equals Hope: Edith Macefield's Legacy Sunday, I read an article on the front page of the NYTimes, "House That Wouldn't Budge (or Float Away) Faces a Last Stand." What struck me most in the article was this universal desire to live and die in our own homes. The...
Our Friends | The Song of the Sea Urchin
I was thinking as I ran on the beach this morning about the ephemerality of life, the beauty. I was thinking how much of a distraction beauty is, a wonderful distraction but a distraction that sometimes moves aside. This displacement of beauty can happen with its loss...
Pet Therapy | K-9 Companions for Independence
This morning I attended a meet-and-greet at Newport Beach's Oasis Senior Center with Canine Companions for Independence, a California non-profit that provides assistance dogs for people with disabilities. We are looking to adopt a therapy dog, or puppy/dog that...
Care Conversations | The Importance of Social Engagement
On Monday night I attended Living to Age 90 and Beyond, a public talk by University of California Irvine Health geriatric neurologist Dr. Claudia Kawas, part of the Medicine in Our Backyard series of lectures offered in collaboration with UCI and the Newport Beach Public Library. Since 2003 Dr. Kawas has lead the pioneering 90+ […]
Cassidy’s Corner | Children, Roses and the Aged Reflect Their Care
Nearing 90 by William Maxwell Out of the corner of my eye I see my 90th birthday approaching. It is one year and six months away. How long after that will I be the person I am now? I don't yet need a cane but I have a feeling that my table manners have deteriorated....
Cassidy’s Corner | Pope to the Bishop of Brambles
Lexie and Ian knew each other from childhood on the outskirts of Glasgow. Ian was an only child, eager for Lexie’s sisterly advice and culinary tips for his wild bounty of berries: raspberries, brambles, blaeberries and sloes collected from the countryside. Ian...
Wisdom | It Is Beautiful to Be Old! ~ Pope Benedict XVI
Last Saturday, I read these striking words of reminder from the retired Pope in the Our Lady Queen of Angels bulletin. WORDS OF HIS HOLINESS BENEDICT XVI Rome, Monday 12 November 2012 "I come to you as Bishop of Rome, but also as an old man visiting his peers. It...
Cassidy’s Corner | Shortbread and Brawn
My father-in-law liked to read, eat sweets and drink whisky. Most of all he liked to make money. He had an unconscious habit of shaking coins in his hand–a reminder? My mother-in-law used to call him moneybags but that was after they were divorced. Mr. Mac, as I used...
Our Friends | His Strong Toil of Grace
Doug said he didn’t like Shakespeare: “too difficult.” Yet, he quoted Macbeth as he remembered reading every work of Faulkner when he was serving his country in Taiwan in 1967: "A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” Towards the end of...
Cassidy’s Corner | The Orchard of My Mother
My mother loved to read and to drive fast. When she crashed her car into the handicapped elevator at the back of the library, she didn’t stop reading but she did decide to stop driving. Wisdom does come with age–she was 84. Two years before on Christmas Eve, we had...
Our Friends | The Step of Faith into the Self: Sharon’s Art, Patently Patten
I first knew Sharon Patten sitting next to my cousin Kathe, both their heads upside down, scratching their dandruff into the folds of a magazine with Elvis booming in the background, “I’m all shook up.” Uh-huh-huh, uh-huh-huh, scratch again. Who could shed the most...
Cassidy’s Corner | Looking for Miss Davis: “Lord Help Us and Save Us”
Aunt Roseanne lived in the back bedroom in my grandmother Katie’s house. Roseanne was Katie’s first cousin. Katie always had a room for anyone in need. Roseanne, by profession, a social worker and by nature, always helping others, had a need. Her husband, Pat Darnell,...
Cassidy’s Corner | Not Saint Agnes but Mother: Superior
It’s so easy to remember awkward, embarrassing situations with people — laugh and forget about them. It is much harder to search through all those ordinary moments shared and find what bound us. Donald and I still laugh remembering when (we were living in Johannesburg...
Cassidy’s Corner | The Frogman, a Prince
My dad lost a lot. When he was two years old he lost his father who died from complications from being gassed in the trenches during the Great War. He lost his mother next, who had to go to work to support her two sons. Jack was angry at her, not understanding her...
Our Friends | Art over Disease
I don’t have a photo of Inez but every time I see kelp and seaweed, I look again because of Inez. I had watched her sketching the kelp, holding her pencil like a claw, her art opening despite her arthritic fingers. Her smile was huge, scalloped like the shore despite...
Cassidy’s Corner | Instant Karma: Ward
“Who do you think you are, a super star, well, right you are.” That’s how my brother, Ward, was—an asterisk or a star. More than that, he was a star-giver. Everyone received his attention. As soon as he could, he explored the ‘other side of the tracks,’ the black...
Cassidy’s Corner | E.G. (Not Miss Otis) Regrets He’s Unable to Lunch Today
Aren’t we loads of those we have lost? Take the word, loads. Every birthday card from Aunt Mary, the invalid next door, was signed, loads. I have been sending her loads ever since I learned to write my name. Here she is in the center of the picture before she became...
Our Friends | Pearl Harbor on the Bayou
There was no sea there to search for pearls for a California girl, a coastal creature used to the magnificent Pacific at her feet. Instead, she had been railed into a swamp along the Mississippi Delta. Despite the barbed wire and chigger-infested woods, Tat carved...
Cassidy’s Corner | Whom We Love Remain
February 21st was her birthday. I read his letters to her again, but don’t have hers. What did her letters say? Is someone reading them now, too? She turned her disasters, disappointments. Yes, turned them literally. Into something? Not necessarily. But if she...